A long time ago, before the mortgage worries, earlier the wedlock and earlier the kids, I lived in an old walk up apartment. Due to the nature of the shows I was working on, I was living month to calendar month to pay for it. But I didn't worry. I knew I would make my rent. I knew if Roseanne ended, another production would take its place. (How-do-you-do, Grace Under Fire.) I continued to get my hair washed. I didn't salve for a rainy day and I never turned down a dinner out. That certainly wasn't a plan that Suze Orman would endorse, but at 25, it worked for me.

In some ways, I enjoyed it so much, that being responsible has just never felt comfortable. Deep inside I have resented not having the time I used to have. I have been frustrated that money that used to encompass "fun stuff" has gone toward medical bills, house payments or... get gear up for the snore.... savings.

At present that I'm working a day job again, my time has become fifty-fifty more condensed. "Pack the lunches the night before, ready out the clothes, feed the kids, go them to school, rush to work, blitz dwelling house, grocery store on Sundays considering if you don't you'll take nothing nutritious to consume for vii days..." By the fourth dimension Saturday hits, I'thousand exhausted and don't want to do annihilation.

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Information technology dawned on me today, as I slept through church (much to the disappointment of my daughter who loves Sunday school) that I have 2 means of looking at life:

one. Allow my life run me

ii. Run my life

I am going with #two for many reasons.

1. I have it pretty darn good. Information technology'south time to get-go focusing on what I accept, not what I don't.

two. I can start planning more than downwardly time for myself. So what if the kitchen dishes pile up or the beds don't become made. If I don't start taking a few hours for myself to unwind (and have a adept attitude about information technology... back to #1) so I'thousand going to run on the wheel forever.

One of my favorite bloggers always reminds me that It'due south All About the Small Stuff. True joy is non constitute in the end result, but in the journey.

One journey I used to have in my little apartment all those years ago, was to periodical every morning time. Unlike blogging, I wouldn't exercise information technology for the earth to see. I wouldn't do information technology for a class. I would practice information technology for me. In doing and so, I would unlock all the hidden desires, frustrations and potential joys that were hidden within of me.

With everything going on in my life right at present, it might seem that personal writing is the concluding thing I have fourth dimension for at present. But if I don't get back to calmness - and a centre - I won't savor all that I accept. So, beginning today, I'1000 cracking open my dilapidated and used Julia Cameron's Artist'due south Way. It's a stride-past-step guide to finding one's soul and purpose. If whatsoever of y'all are interested, pick up a re-create and we tin chat nigh Week 1 after Thanksgiving. (I did non get paid to endorse that book! It'southward an oldie I have loved for years.)

And at present, with a full Sun ahead of me, I'grand going to take some fourth dimension out for me. I'm going for a walk. Then I'll grocery shop. Then I'll clean the house and have a few people over for dinner. And possibly, merely maybe, I'll squeeze 1 last thing in. (And I don't think Rex volition exist complaining. Unless I look at him naked and, like that web log I love, tell him "It'southward All Virtually the Small Stuff". Nope, that wouldn't be prudent.